In psychology, Empaths are people who have a higher than usual level of empathy, called hyperempathy. What I found online was; while objective empathy level testing is difficult, tests such as the EQ-8 have gained some acceptance as tests for being empathic.
An empathy quotient score out of 80 would be between 33 – 52 and that would average, while it's written that most women score about 47 and most men score about 42. Then it says that 53 – 63 is above average and 64 – 80 is very high.
An average EQ score ranges from 90-100, with a perfect score measuring 160. Those who score high on this test tend to demonstrate tendencies to make an effort to understand and empathize with others.
Those with below average EQ scores can have a hard time trying to achieve empathy with others, unless they work on trying to increase their emotional intelligence by - for 1 - learning to reduce negative emotions - for 2 - learning not to say or do things that are inappropriate or not called for while trying to show empathy, to say the least.
Clinically, the empathy measurements provided by the EQ are used by mental health professionals in assessing the level of social impairment in certain disorders such as Narcissistic personality disorder of course (NPD). Also Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), or Social Anxiety Disorder, to say the least.
However, since levels of empathy vary significantly between individuals - even between those without any mental health disorders - EQ testing is suitable for use as a casual measuring of temperamental empathy by and for the general population.
I'm not in any general population, and I've never been professionally tested for my Empathy levels, but I know I'm a highly sensitive person with lots of Love, spirituality and emotional intelligence, used to give and show empathy and validation to others when they need it.
Empathy is a relatively common human ability - except for toxic Narcissists - Toxic people and those with cognitive disorders - and Empaths are people with higher-than-normal sensitivity that only makeup around 2% of the population tested.
I don't believe everyone can show true empathy, but I do believe 'almost' everyone can show Narcissism - appear as a Narcissist - be or think toxic on a regular basis - or have some sort of unbalancing cognitive disorders or a mental and social handicap.
Even people with just negative mental health effects of unhealthy or harmful actions and beliefs or experiences and understandings, can harm others and appear narcissistic. All these people are capable of abusing others emotionally, mentally, physically and even indirectly or unknowingly.
On the heavier side of my scale I believe I've seen to many people acting or speaking like they're on some sort of psychotropic drugs most of the time; antipsychotics, antidepressants, anxiolytics, hypnotics, and mood stabilizers (to name a few).
I've also seen many people who were just 'DANGER AHEAD' Red Flags after Red Flags - and even if these people don't take any drugs, they appear to be on cocaine or something. So I believe we have people in society walking around while they should be institutionalized.
Why? Because for example of their constant uncontrollable bad and provoking behavior, or even just anxiety - depression - hypervigilance - a disabling combination of social withdrawal and/or aggression towards others - unable to complete or comprehend a sentence, etc, etc.
Not to mention psychopathic and toxic narcissistic behaviors and people who believe in things that are just not true, not right, not fair and not anyone I want to be around or recommend anyone else to be around.
However I also believe that you're not necessarily a toxic Narcissist if you do one or two of the things they do, or act in one or two ways that they do, but if you do them or act out like them regularly, you probably are a toxic Narcissist. Experts aren't sure how common NPD is, and I'M NO EXPERT BUT I KNOW NARCISSISM IS PRETTY COMMON.
However according to their research data, between 0.5% and 5% of people in the U.S., may have it. Between 50% and 75% of cases affect men and people assigned male at birth (AMAB). However, many people hide and cover their own toxic narcissistic beliefs or behaviors (informally known as Covert narcissism).
Many enablers and flying monkey's support Narcissists, they haven't tested everyone on the planet or plan on making it publically known if someone is or not, and being tested for NPD is not a requirement for anything anywhere, so I take those statistics with a grain of salt, and I do my own thank you very much.
I have been tested by, and proven to, myself as a Spiritual Empath, and so I am a self-verified Empath, because all my life, I emotionally connected through empathy for others, show all the signs and symptoms, and understood the depth of emotional suffering with people all over the world, by other people.
Not just people, but all things on this planet, and the planet itself, while trying to help in some way (or not make anything worse) and while trying never to even appear as terrible as a toxic narcissistic person.
Not to mention someone with cognitive disorders who can suddenly appear unstable and irrational, or toxic like a toxic narcissist to say the least, like after doing hard drugs. Even when Empath do some hard drugs, like I did in the 80's and 90's, we don't suddenly become a toxic narcissistic person.
I can listen to and even forgive people with cognitive disorders, I have in the past and will always, but not if they are Narcissistic, because they repeat the toxic and wrongdoings over and over, as a natural way of their existence.
When a Narcissist is toxic once, and gives me a Fauxpology (a phony apology), I forgive but I can't forget. Two times, I'll still forgive and make sure I remember, three times, I will never forget and that's it.
With my siblings it has been a life of 50 times - 60 times - 70 times - 80 times and so on, while I tried to maintain some sort of relationship with them, believing they didn't mean to be toxic. However there was nothing to maintain, they were just too busy having a relationship with themselves.
"You're either with me or against me." A mentality well known for Narcissists to have if someone finds something wrong with what they're saying or doing. So now I'm against them.
I have never been mentally unstable or irrational even though a Narcissist and my siblings would tell you that I have been, and I've never had toxic thoughts or cognitive disorders, even though a Narcissist and my siblings would tell you that I have.
I may make the same mistake once or twice, even while unaware that I hurt someone of course, but after I realize or learn that I hurt someone with what I said or have done, it never happens again. Unlike with a Narcissist and my siblings.
So even while I listen to what the narcissist has to say, and I can forgive them once in a while for the things they did, I can not forgive the Narcissist for repeating the same things again and again, or their same wrongdoings agaIn and again, even though they would say I'm a very unforgiving person.
Unlike a Narcissist, I've always been a forgiving person, learning from my mistakes. I am also a helpful listener with no pressure to those speaking, because I like to learn and I can speak when they let me. Unless a narcissist is just bla bla bla bla for too long, and it's time for me to say what I need to say to them.
I will criticize a Narcissist to their face, or on the phone, but I've always offered advice, motivation or confirmation to genuine people suffering emotionally in some way; with my love, emotional intelligence and spirituality involved in the giving to their emotional and psychological needs.
I also always try to let a person know that they are important to me, when I see they appreciate me, whether it's finding out what they need, or asking what they need from me, because they are important to me.
And once I let them know that, I don't let them forget it, unless of course I've discovered they don't appreciate me like I thought they did. But if they still appreciate me, than my Love is for them also.
I will show them that I'm there for them, sharing with them my thoughts that coincide with theirs, validating their feelings and emotions, and by asking them if they want me to stay with them, or should I go and call you tomorrow.
My highly sensitive abilities and emotional intelligence to discern what others are feeling goes beyond empathy, which is defined simply as the ability to understand the feelings of others.
I don't really need to understand their feelings or have to have had the same experience as theirs, to feel their energy and give them back my energy of love, care, concern and trust to open up to me. Even without words.
Empathy is the natural state that enables me to feel for other individuals with deep emotional spiritual energy with a deep connection, but also while building a further connection through cognition abilities as well. I can connect with mind, body and spirit.
Examples of me using my cognition abilities - like I've already mentioned - include paying attention to someone in distress but also paying attention to the way they are talking to me, the words they are using, the manner in which they are seated or standing, finding patterns visually and verbally.
Having memory to remember what they tell me but also things in the environment around me - and people around me; my awareness of it all and the comprehension and understanding of everything put together - the various outcomes and learning something new.
Having perspectives of different views, making decisions, processing language, sensing and perceiving environmental stimuli, with logic and reasoning - for finding, looking and solving problems. Given there's enough time for them to be with me, so I can do all that.
These processes are sometimes non-discrete abilities, they are a raft of different interacting skills which together allow me to function as a healthy adult. I naturally and always multitask with these abilities, for the good of all while harming none, in perfect love & perfect trust.
Unless of course I'm faced with unappreciated or rude and toxic Narcissism from someone after the giving of myself to them, which can start my draining process and I become exhausted.
At times of giving to someone who appears to have good intentions - but then speak or act inappropriately or narcissistically without good intentions, and no appreciation - is when the draining process becomes exhausting, and I have to get away, go lay down or watch a tv show or something.
Being mindful of others' feelings, respectful, supportive or uplifting, emotionally sensitive and forgiving with non-narcissistic people, is kept intact the whole time. That's because I focus on others more than I need to focus on myself.
With a Narcissistic person it's still intact but just a little less, because they're focussing on just themselves, being rude, hurtful and stupid 'at me', while they act like what I'm saying is rude, hurtful and stupid (that's if their even letting me speak).
It's hard to get a word in edgewise when they go on and on with things like: "You really have a mental problem" “Wow you never cared about me,” “I make you a priority, but you never appreciate it,” or “I'm so hurt that you're not here for me when I need you.” "you're so mean, what a terrible person you are."
I know it may seem that way to them, but they're just being so toxically abusive right before my eyes, and sometimes there's no other way to communicate with them but mirror their own toxic ways back to them with a more intelligent and educated manner.
However, it won't matter at that point what manner in which you speak to them, because they have a mental problem, they don't care about you, they will never make you a priority or appreciate you or be they're for you emotionally, they'll hurt you all the time, they're mean, and they're terrible as a human.
Can you see how projection works now? Everything they say to you while trying to trigger you into reacting, they project everything they are, onto you, hoping you would consider what they say to be actual and factual, so you'll surrender to their control. It's best just not to engage.
You can't really communicate with someone who doesn't want to communicate, they just want to control you. It doesn't matter what you say no matter how intelligent and educated the manner is, they have an agenda at the time, so they won't shut up until they feel like they've won.
However being mindful of non-narcissistic people and their feelings; people who are good and who communicate properly - by showing them respect and consideration - support and validation - compassion and forgiveness - and empathy for them (to say the least) - is one of the reasons why good and beautiful people think I'm a beautiful person.
Even narcissistic people, before any confrontation, always said to me "you are such a good person (or beautiful person)", before they don't get their way with me, to control me, lie to me, use me or put me in harms way, that suddenly I'm a "terrible person."
There's a difference between being a good person, a nice person, and a beautiful person. I've always been a beautiful person but now I won't deal with anyone who is a toxic Narcissist, because I am also a strong person. If I do have to deal with them, it's because of their negatively affective pathological reactive abuse.
That's where their deep rooted insecurity and desperate need for control: by belittling and demeaning others, come in to play, but it's okay, I know now that it's just an attempt to elevate themselves in their own head and maintain superiority over others.
You see there's a difference between normal narcissists and pathological toxic narcissists. The latter describes extreme fluctuations between feelings of inferiority and failure with a sense of superiority and grandiosity, so they can lash out by antagonizing you so fiercely that you end up losing your control over non-engagement with them.
I've been through it with my siblings, it's hell in a handbasket where they maintain the stance of a bully, and instead of them raging at me, I'm the one raging at them and not displaying any 'beautiful person' traits anymore. That's when they say to me "look at how you're acting."
Telling me I'm the one that's so mean, I'm the one lying and being abusive and insulting, accusing me of being abusive with my words of course. Their self-absorption, denial, delusions of grandeur, gaslighting and disrespect is everywhere at the time.
"Calm down" they end up saying, "you're not being reasonable" they tell me" and "you're so fucked up"; the projection of theirs that always comes out somewhere, after accusing me of Lying of course.
But I use to think for a second 'wow they're right, I am mean and maybe I don't know what I'm talking about", but continue knowing there's no other way to shut them the hell up and get them the hell out of my face, or out of my home, so too bad for me starting to feel fucked up.
However I was fucked up, because of them being fucked up 'at me' and now I know it's called Reactive Abuse and is very normal while trying to protect your emotional well being against the Green Eyed Monster. I've never been mean, and I don't lie.
WE ALL HAVE OUR LIMITS, THEY'VE CROSSED OVER MINE A MILLION TIMES, with no respect, no truth, no remorse, no consideration and no care. Just lies and gaslighting, projections, over exaggerations, inappropriate and disgusting behavior, and bla bla bla bla.
So protect yourself when you have to because you are not the crazy and abusive one, they are, even though they constantly say "why are you being this way" "why do you hate me so" "why are you so angry".
Don't let them control you or confuse you or make you feel like you're the bad guy - it's just a game for them and should mean nothing to you - because you're not, you're the beautiful one with a beautiful heart, that needs protection from them. To protect yourself, you should walk away, or go away, far far away from them.
However if they're in my home when they fire me up like that, and I can't go anywhere while they toughen up themselves to stay, I let them burn with my fire because it's hotter, stronger and more powerful for protection against their vindictiveness, subterfuge and abuse.
We Empaths are Lightworkers, and we can light a fire for many people, a good fire of loving light and guidance, just as we can against toxic Narcissists, one that is powerful with protection and a force of energies that will keep us safe.
Now, when I'm faced with a terrible toxic Narcissist and I have no choice but to argue with them, I know I can be strong to defend myself - fight fire with fire while I still maintain fairness - while showing some narcissism to sound like a terrible person also, for the hopes that they will finally want to stop and just get away from me.
Remember you can still be strong and fight fire with fire, while you're a good person, a nice person or a beautiful person, to defend yourself or another, and maintain your good, nice or beautiful heart. However, there are differences of the three.
A simple example would be, one will simply answer an important question, one will take the initiative and divulge the truth more; and one will answer the question, divulge to offer more, and ask if they can be of any service any further while being friendly and easy to talk to.
Some people don't even answer questions, they dismiss or avoid them. Some people don't even tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth after a question, they omit the truth that matters most.
And some people don't even know the difference between a question and an accusation, feeling paranoid after you ask it by answering it with their own question, "why do you ask?" All very annoying Red Flags you can find with a Narcissist.
There are many people who are Narcissists or Toxic, that are pretending or acting like Empaths and beautiful people so others can like them and believe that they are, minus the 2% I've seen online who are working on change for the good of all harming none.
However toxic Narcissists are not empaths they're toxic, and they're just a different kind of Covert Narcissist and dangerous. We are they're targets for supply or suppliers.
They can attract us as appearing kind and sympathetic to us, while we are merely a target to manipulate, love bomb, and pretend reciprocity to win us over for that supply, or connections to what they need.
They would be Love-Bombing you (as they try to connect further), to make you love what they're saying or doing, so they can begin reeling you in. With all the Love-Bombing and Mirroring going on, it's hard to see their narcissism, and when you start to see it, it's after some time and hard to say goodbye.
All while you're going through a draining process that becomes exhausting, and even while accepting their slight gaslighting of you, but you don't know it until you realize these people are Toxic Narcissists and you must have no-contact with them.
They'll try to connect with you through empathy; feelings, sharing, similarities and making you smile or laugh alot, making you trust, making you stuck, and making you eventually caught in their web of exaggerations and lies.
The harsh mental, emotional and reactive abuse comes around soon, but before you realize that's what they're doing to you - after a time of being with you and realizing that - you'll see that the goodness you thought they had, they don't. Then you realize they're not good people, at least not for you.
However for us good people and beautiful people, it sneaks up on us, and we never saw what's coming, don't even know why it's happening (while we blame ourselves and suffer the consequences of not knowing about Toxic Narcissists before hand). It happened to me, don't let it happen to you.
As a Gay and feminine Empath with spiritual awareness; loving and emotionally giving to others most of the time, not to mention a highly sensitive person that's authentic, virtuous and super appreciative, I just love the presence or the sight of genuine good and beautiful empathic people that wear their heart on their sleeve with me, and when I speak to them or see them I get such a happy high.
Narcissists seek out Empaths because they are on the hunt for a source of a high called 'Narcissistic Supply'. Narcissistic Supply is when a narcissist gets a 'power hit', an 'energy boost', or a 'self-rejuvenation' off of an Empath because they can't recharge off their inherent connection to themselves, or just a Source, a Love, a God or a Universal energy.
I hate, when genuine beautiful empathic people have to deal - in their own lives - with constant intrusions by the most terrible and drastic Narcissists or Toxic people that have the potential to suck out their beauty and happiness, constantly and with just little effort. Like for three examples;
One being; Religious fanatics or extremist people, self-centered and showing hyperreligiosity that is a psychiatric disturbance in which a person experiences intense religious beliefs that interfere with normal functioning, normal behavior, normal communication.
Displaying spiritual delusions, rigid legalistic thoughts, and extravagant expression of piety, while never accepting any other view without religion involved. Where as I can only learn more when I accept everyone's views about anything, including religion. I'm open to the wisdom, beauty and miracles in all things.
Accepting everyone's views about anything, as their own views, why and how they view them, makes me learn more, be more, and help more, while spiritually aware with my own spiritual views. As a Spiritual Empath, they can't make me a religious person with the same views as theirs, but they can make me see more of my beautiful views.
Two being; siblings who are toxically narcissistic like mine that are self-centered and always appearing to mean well but are spiteful - rude and draining of energy. Blaming everyone else for bad things, and never themselves.
They confabulate, triangulate, and gaslight you when they don't have their way with you. Narcissistic and toxic but oh so friendly and good at pretending to be honest, loyal, and upstanding all the time.
Three being; money and power hungry people or obsessive sales people, self-centered and always pushing products. Annoying you left and right about becoming someone like them, being the best you can be, and telling people that they should charge money for what they do so well.
Wanting to charge the most amount of money for the least amount of product or service possible. Always talking about how great they are, how genius they are, how incredible their connections are.
They agree with the concentration of wealth in the hands of a few individuals while leaving many others behind, and seeing everything and everyone as an opportunity to make money, while arguing over everything they're just jealous about.
Those three examples are of toxic Narcissists I can't stand, they are one's that I believe are the most terrible and drastically non-receptive people not understanding logic, love, empathy or intelligent things that can make a difference in the world for the good of all while harming none.
Or as they say to you "I do understand I do" "but I'm talking about me right now, not the world", and just arguing their point across, and not comprehending what you are telling them about the opposite of what they think. Then getting upset over stupidness, while triggering my draining process and frustration.
Vampires that are good looking, helpful and nice at first only to suck the life right out of you, is how I see them all. If I ever get to know the opposite of one of them (one of them that are my version of beautiful people), I'll let you know, but I won't hold my breath because they always prove me right.
Just with little effort from a toxic Narcissist with an unsuspecting and trusting beautiful person - can have that beautiful person trust them. Unless that beautiful person has visited my blog to heed every word I've written about them, all my advice and warnings.
They give everyone their trust, for the benefit of the doubt; but they need to control that trusting part of them - or they will end up being fooled by the Narcissist,, who will end up trapping and abusing them emotionally and psychologically, and maybe even physically.
I love beautiful people and when I meet them, they love me too, or wish they could. While toxic Narcissists love other Narcissists, and are incapable of loving someone beautiful like me, but wish to use us for more supply. Physical supply, mental supply, and emotional supply (not to mention money, service and goods).
For example #1: The primary narcissistic supply is based on attention in public forms; such as recognition, fame, infamy, stardom, and its private forms more interpersonal; types of praise, admiration, applause, servitude, fear, dependency.
For example #2: Laughing at their stupid jokes and juvenile behavior and telling them they're funny; give them all that stuff, and you're their supply honey. Clapping and cheering when they walk into the room, and you'll make them act like they love you with a heart beating boom-boom-boom.
For example #3: Letting them get away with demanding from you, without considering what you want or need. Giving them your constant attention, praise, and affection from you without them genuinely reciprocating back to you is another Red Flag of greed.
For example #4: Taking care of them like a nurturing Mom would do while accepting all their flaws. I can go on and on and on, about all the different ways you would make a great supply for a toxic Narcissist, and this is without you having alot of money, would you like to hear more honey?
For example #5: Never saying things that hurt their feelings or make them question you or doubt you, or gaslight you, while they hurt your feelings and they're always questioning you, or doubting you, or gaslighting you.
For example #6: Letting them take credit for all good things in the relationship with you, and allowing them to not take responsibility for their failures or wrongdoings; such as disrespecting you in private or publically. If they can achieve all that stuff with you, you are their supply.
You're only beautiful to a toxic Narcissist if you have anything to offer them, or if you are the target of their next supply. They don't ever feel the true depth of beautiful feelings like genuine Love and definitely can't reciprocate it back to you, they can only just try to act like they do love you or they are reciprocating, and that's not genuine or true, it's more mirroring you.
They love your supply, they love how you make them feel, they love when you serve them hand and foot, they love when you're around because it makes them feel secure and validated, and they love all that, they don't genuinely love you, for you.
For me, it's easy and genuinely beautiful being a genuine beautiful person all the time and feeling genuine beautiful feelings with genuine beautiful people when I'm with them. I just love them for them.
💖Tʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴏʀ sʜᴀʀɪɴɢ, ᴄᴀʀɪɴɢ, ɪɴsᴘɪʀɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴠɪsɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴍʏ Bʟᴏɢsᴘᴏᴛ💖
No comments:
Post a Comment