Love

          💖In Perfect Love & Perfect Trust I write this, because I've been blessed with Perfect Love & Perfect Trust. I lived the most amazing next Big Love Story. Maybe it's just because of all my incredible memories I still have, maybe it's because I miss it; maybe it's just my magical thinking, but I love Love first and foremost, and I've been this way since I can remember. 

           
           Got in trouble many times for always talking about Love, and made many a men confused by the word, and by me always showing it. I love it all, the love I got the love I gave; The love I lived, the love I lost; the love I advised many of; the love I have inside me to give, the love I once had and gave, memories of a love with my beloved, and love I've seen between others, between animals and in the air. 

           Yes there was Love in the Air everywhere for me, especially after meeting the Love of my Life. Do you Love Love? Do you Love the Love inside of you? You may respond with a "aa-yaeh", but yaeh really?

 

           If you can't Love The Love Inside of you appropriately and with nurturing; how is anyone else going to love your heart appropriately and with nurturing? When you love something you shouldn't ignore it or dismiss it or not acknowledge it at all, so why not acknowledge the love you have inside you if you love Love so much, then it will acknowledge you back.

         Acknowledge your self love without being selfish, and yourself love will acknowledge you. Try it you might be thankful you did. Everyone needs love, but not everyone deserves love. Just take a breath in and say as you exhale; "Hey Love inside me; I want you to know that I'm acknowledging how awesome you are, and I thank you." Does that make you feel spiritual? Well good, feeling spiritual is the feeling of good things to come. Why not feel spiritual? Why not I ask?

         Are you not allowed to feel it, to feel so thankful for something you want to talk to it? People are triggered when I talk like this, but I'll do anything for others to learn something in perfect love and perfect trust; that could make their lives better. One time downtown, I met a girl who heard me going on about Love, and was triggered to ask me questions, about her relationship at the time, and what she should do.

I take all encounters with me very deeply and seriously, when someone wants to hear about love from me; and I cherish meeting them and the feeling of helping them, not to mention the good deed I've done at the end. I've also never had an encounter with someone that did not agree or take heed with what I was saying about Love & their lives.

The only reason I could connect with her, looking back in hindsight, is not because I'm very social and love to talk; or because I need to express myself or I'll die. It was because I am Spiritual, and have been for a long time without knowing what it was. 

I thought I was just a very sensitive and loving person that was social and loves to talk about Love to anyone that comes along, but now I know it was because I was spiritual just not fully-spiritually-aware; another thing I could go on explaining. 

          The picture of my beloved in front of the sign "Perfect Love Casteth out Fear", inspires me because that's what my beloved did for me with his perfect love for me, he "castethed" out all the fear I ever had, with perfect Love & Perfect Trust.

          I'm not religious but that sign was in Ed's Sauna by the pond, when I moved into this home in 1997 to live with him. Today it's in the kitchen on top of the window so I can see him when I look up, while I think of him anywhere.

 
          It's not about God and religion for me, it's about my beloved, and our endless spiritual love for eachother. He is my Soulmate, and we walked with Love while we were together for 21+ years.

 
          Now while he's not here anymore, I walk with Love still, with the Love he had inside him, and the Love inside me. Others who can't walk with Love inside them without walking with God and religion, they just have to many limits on the love inside them.

          However for your reference: "1 John 4:18 In-Context"

          18. "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."

          "How do you walk in perfect love?"

          Here are four ways you can start walking in love today.

          "Decide to forgive." One of the most important aspects of the love walk is forgiveness. Maybe that's why there are so many Narcissistic people in churches and religious institutions, because they're always forgiven, and allowed to repeat their bad behavior over and over again.

          When Narcissistic Behavior is involved over and over again, it's not a one time accident (it may just be the one time they're caught and called out), it's a malicious intent that is in secret. It deserves punishment not 10 hail marys.

 
          I can forgive a one time accident, or stupid behavior from a dumdum, but a Narcissist without being held accountable, I will not condone their behavior and I will not forget either.

          "Decide to hold your tongue. Love isn't rude or critical." However when a full-blown Narcissist is involved, they don't love you and they are rude and critical. Not to mention they provoke you to argue with them.

          They aggressively interrupt you to oppress you because they don't like what you're going to say. Your tongue is sometimes the only thing that can save you. I will need my tongue to say goodbye for the last time.

          "Decide to believe the best. Love believes the best about others." However when a Narcissist is involved after I've given them the benefit of the doubt for so long - I continue to believe the best about others; not the Narcissist, because they've shown me the worst of them too often, while others have hope in changing for the good of all while harming none.

          "Decide to not get offended." However when a Narcissist is involved, they're the ones that get offended all the time with their paranoia, ignorance and misperceptions. Not to mention lack of mindfulness and assertiveness.

          Then they're offending, oppressing, projecting, omitting, and pretending; with their sense of self-importance, entitled and exploitative actions; arrogance, void of empathy and emotional intelligence, and their need for constant confirmation and admiration.

 
          For me they are the fear that hath torment, for themselves and for others. I miss my beloved so much, he helped me find my spirituality and was my 1 John 4:18 In-Context. With him we walked in perfect love and perfect trust together. There was no limit to the Love we gave each other and to others.

Many people associate being spiritual as being religious or giving over control of themselves to a Big God Entity, or several of them, with rules and regulations of un-demandable in un-reasonable proportions. Believing in things you can't see or touch. It's not like that for me and who gives them the right to touch. They may walk with God but I walk with Love, so I respect religious people as I respect those who are not religious and those who are atheists. There's only one race and religion I do not respect, and that's the Race & Religion of Narcissists. I am not religious or atheist, because I am spiritual; thus, I believe more than that. However before you start thinking I'm a Warlock of the worst kind; or an alien, there is no narcissistic teachings or mindset or worship of one big god entity; no false industry of corruption, no giving your money to an owner of a church, and no giving up your rights or beliefs to believe in Spirituality. No looking at me weirdly from across the room; No using me, no bad advice, no obligations, no more misreading misinterpreting and using the bible as a crutch or excuse, and no more forbidding and dismissing anyone. Sounds like a real bad relationship with a Narcissist. Don't get me wrong with all that; I appreciate the good work certain churches and temples involve themselves in, and the good people who are there that volunteer their time to help others in some way. I am Jewish and know personally the depth and importance of culture & some religious teachings. Many religions have narratives, symbols, traditions and sacred histories that are intended to give meaning to life or to explain the origin of life or the universe. It doesn't mean I agree or wouldn't change anything, but they tend to derive morality, ethics, laws, or a preferred lifestyle from their ideas about the cosmos and human nature. Never mind if they're good ideas or bad ideas, I enjoy listening to someone talk about the cosmos and human nature at the same time. An orderly or harmonious universe, is the kind of universe we need right now, but instead human nature keeps ruining everything with their lack of care and empathy, emotional intelligence and just being a good person that cares about the world in which we live. However; in a temple of worship, I also love that you can go sit and pray and hear beautiful music, but I can feel more narcissism in a church that I can just being spiritual and in my own temple called home. This wholly ground I live on with my blessed heart and soul as my temple, is all the church going I need. It's not only here for me, but all the animals that live on the property, and the cats that now come inside to eat, play and sleep. However, when you deal with a narcissist; and they say they are or know spirituality very well, but display the talk of one holier-than-thou of moral superiority as they use the walking with God Card, that is far from being spiritual. That is when I have an instinctual bullshit meter going overboard with them because the dichotomy and patterns I discover between the words and the actions show so many more warnings; beyond the realization that they're incapable of showing or feeling Love, let alone spiritual love. I'm pretty convinced that in every church or synagogue or any religious temple where others meet, there are many Narcissists right there, but then again they are everywhere, except in this case they're all around you. So when I speak in terms of God, or Oh My God, or it was like a blessing, or in any spiritual manner, it rubs the Atheists and religious out there the wrong way. However, I believe using God in a conversation with someone, makes what you're saying more powerful, especially when speaking about Love, to the ones who have a God Complex. A Narcissist with a God Complex is a Dangerous Narcissist. A God complex is typically associated with narcissistic personality disorder. Many people who go to church to pray and thank god for everything, have a God complex don't they? It can be present without the disorder but not really without the narcissist personality. It's the only reason I never liked visiting a Synagogue or Church while growing up. When I used to visit these places, and lots of people were greeting me; it was like I was in the movie "Rosemary's Baby" and I was Rosemary. I got to understand that most of them when there; act like a human promotion for their religion so they're over acting and getting in your face. Like they're in Sales or something. People with the god complex sometimes don't hear themselves talking, but it's ridiculous what's coming out, and hard for me to bare. They tend to see themselves as better than those around them and significantly inflate their importance. They claim to know the Bible from cover to cover, and to be smarter than they look because they studied it don't you know. However people like that seem narcissistically unimportant and braggadocious; irritable, abrupt, mocking and badly tolerating of you. A person with a God complex, on its own is not a mental health diagnosis, but they sure do sound like Narcissists to me. Thanks God but you can have them.

You don't have to believe there is a God, but believe that when you speak with godspeak or knowledge of God; "God in your talking" to a narcissist with a God Complex, you are affecting them and your talk is working. Also if you don't believe, then that narcissist that says they are believers, or they "walk with God" will always use that against you, especially when they triangulate about you. People should stop being triggered by religious talk by narcissists, it's just an opportunity to express or communicate powerfully with what you have to tell them; by using their own words and the power of their own reversal techniques. If they can't respect and understand human beings how the hell are they gonna respect and understand a God.

         I can say all this because I'm a spiritual unhealed empath, not because I'm a religious person. I'm someone who can acknowledge other people's heart of love, never mind my own. Someone who can't acknowledge their own heart, may not be able to acknowledge other people's hearts, and when you acknowledge people, it makes them smile, why not make your own heart smile by acknowledging it as well. So what if I call that a spiritual act, who cares? 

         I'm not asking you to talk to your heart like it's a person and imagine it is a person that can hear you. Other things can hear you you know? Can't you just imagine that your heart can hear everything you're saying, and would smile if you acknowledge it once in a while? It's fun try it who cares?

         The only people that care should be the people who deserve the good that comes from caring. Whether you don't know what genuine love feels like or you do, we all need acknowledgment somehow, even if we get it from a source other than people; by answering the phone, by shopping, driving, and a nearby stranger.  We can get it from ourselves and the environment, not to mention animals & in the form of spiritual blessings, emotional intelligence, feeling deeply by touch, and our smiling hearts.

We all know the saying "you gotta love yourself, before you can love someone else" right? Well, it's true, but narcissists don't love themselves; they may say they do, but they idealize their fake-selves, and I can tell when someone doesn't love themselves.

I'm just saying don't be a person that doesn't love themselves, go further and don't just say you love yourself, love your heart with acknowledgment of love; it's the only one you have; the one you share with others and give to others, and where all your experiences of pain or joy comes from by being a loving person.

If someone says to you "I don't know how to be a loving person" they're narcissists so stay away. I was blessed with being a loving person all my life, and because of it and staying away from unloving toxic and fake people; it was time for my reward; my next blessing; my Ed and the life he gave to me and left with me. It's all blessings.

It was thoughts of marriage and matrimony from the minute I met him, I just knew he was the one, so smiley face for me, so chivalrous, courteous, and honorable, while gentlemanly and deep thinking and polite. When he sat down on the grass together, there was a light shining bright between our deep spiritual connection.

So am I spiritual for saying it all that way? I'd rather say it that way then just saying I was happy I met him, and lucky I married him. It's not Luck that gave me this beautiful home of memories, security and love because my beautiful honey had to go, it's a blessing that I met him and he made all this for me forever. Someone who doesn't know how to be a loving person (let alone have any spiritual awareness or emotional intelligence), would say that I was lucky I have that big house and the bills paid. It's another narcissistic dismissive disgusting, degrading comment that makes them-and-me sound like an asshole. If I don't speak up for myself to this narcissist, I will feel like an asshole to Ed, and the interrupting hostility will begin. So who needs a person like that in their life, not me. They can be mad at me that I always call them a Narcissist, but they'll never get it, cause they don't have emotional intelligence or the qualifications to discuss or argue about it any further. Anyone with emotional intelligence would speak with mindfulness and awareness and not say such a comment, while Narcissists not knowing how to be loving, speak mostly from their arses, there's no awareness there. Love is for them just another good concept they can use on people but they can't really love you back 100%, they don't have a %. We give 100% we should get 100%. That's what we give so it needs to be re-ciprocal or not-atallatall.

Now I may sound Braggadocious but I've always enjoyed explaining what true love is. My once in a lifetime true love, took this picture of me probably around 2015; you can tell how happy I am while I'm looking at him, lovingly look at me. To me; there's True Love and then there is Empathic Spiritual True Love, that's the Love & Blessing I know.

         It's a kind of Love that has no troubles; that has no attitude or rude comments. Never putting you down and always lifting you up, I've talked about that Love in a page or two. He made me feel very real and completely whole, while I made him feel super real and completely overflowing.

         He healed me from the past and made me able to be in the present, we healed each other also from all the narcissistic abuse we both went through before we met each other. 

          He made me wanna live, I made him never wanna live without me. However; my belief is, when there's a problem with someone in a relationship; someone who is being Non-Loving, disrespecting, hurtful, argumentative, interruptive, while reacting hostile and apathetic; there's a problem with a narcissist. Don't go any further and turn around, get your coat and your keys, walk out the door, and say "seeya, wouldn't wanna beeya".

To a narcissist; love is an external source of validation used to abuse while they boost their self-esteem and manipulate you; aiming to disarm distract engage; deny, attack, reverse victim roll and defend themselves from all the red flags blowing in the reality, that the relationship will be constructed around; getting their needs met while dismissing yours; rather than real compassion, affection, friendship or Love. They do not understand that real love involves reciprocity. Instead, they believe that love is something they can obtain from a person or object to use and feel better about themselves. They mistreat your love, so they don't deserve it, because you don't deserve to have your love mistreated. If that's been the case for you, you must acknowledge your beautifully Loving heart yourself, so you may heal better. My Love and I would live everyday for each other's happiness and how we could make it happen. It was like that as soon as we met. That day we first met each other after only talking to him on the phone one time; he sat down on the grass with me in the park and I knew he was the one, like as if the Gods came down to give me a present. I felt the present like a blessing in my soul. There were nothing but green flags everywhere with him and I noticed them all; it was a beautiful sunny day with a light breeze on June 2nd 1997; everyone around was happy and having fun; my beautiful dog Star; she had made a male friend and they were running around together; which connected to another cute guy interested in talking to me at the time Ed was coming; there was no homophobia or femaphobia around for me to worry about., and I wasn't ruminating or hungry. To others not spiritually aware; those would be my green flags, and for me at the time they were, but later I realized and acknowledged them as our spiritual signs before and while meeting him for the first time. So I think that the kind of Love that makes you feel like you're blessed to receive, is a sure-fire way to have you believe in "magical thinking" and become more spiritually aware everyday.

I didn't feel very spiritually aware before I met that one true love of my life; that made me suddenly feel so blessed. True love without spiritual awareness is characterized by a deep understanding and compassion for the other person, and a genuine desire for their happiness. However spiritual love is that and more; offering more, giving more, seeing more and feeling more.

Before meeting him; the times I thought I was blessed was after sneezing in a social environment, and people responding "bless you" after. I never actually felt what is truly a blessed feeling before meeting him, never mind me blessing someone else after they sneezed. I knew I felt really lucky here and there, but if one believes in luck; one easily can believe in feeling blessed. I've always felt lucky, now I know I was blessed, and just didn't know that yet. I had to meet my Mr. Right first. Without spiritual awareness or belief; to feel blessed is a term expressed when there's a feeling of gratitude, appreciation, or good fortune. Sure I felt that after meeting Ed, but it became such a strong exalted love between two loving and deep feeling empaths, that those words were exalted and gathered around us in a heavenly place that only we can feel. Much more than great fortune, that's just one of my explanations of feeling blessed.

You may call it my creative mind working up an imaginary story, but I call it our creative minds got together and discovered what makes us even more happier & fulfilled with each other in this life, and it's called Spiritual Love. Just like how I can not even discuss my life story without mentioning and warning about Narcissists and their abuse with people unaware of being their enablers; I can not even discuss deep Love without mentioning the spiritual feelings that you feel, while you have spiritual awareness of what's going on.

With Ed and my minds and hearts connecting in love and feeling "magical" together we received knowledge; wisdom, guidance, understanding, counsel, fortitude and revelations from Nature, spirit and Angels. Specifically our Guardian Angels that we communicated with regularly with the feelings of depth and spiritual understanding of the blessings we shared together. We would express our love in words and actions, it was our pastime. Everyone who was to come in contact with us would also be given the opportunity to share in our blessings; hear our expressions of love for them; taking home with them a good time, a powerful time, a meaningful time or a fulfilling time, and the power of everything became fertilizer for the growth of our big love story.

Giving to others, giving to ourselves, giving to the animals, giving to the environment, and giving to each other, the blessings we all deserve. Just his presence was a blessing, and vice versa. Have you ever heard anyone say all that to you about someone?

I didn't always know that I was spiritual, but I knew I was Loving. However I was not spiritually aware before meeting him and understanding more. He taught me and made me feel so much, that I am worthy of Love and Blessings and, where have I been all my life?

He made me feel the best way I felt about myself, and it's because of him I wanted to learn more and be the best way I can be, for him. I knew I was always a loving person, but with him I felt Loving all the time, love coming and going coming and going like through a revolving door non-stop. I had known what Love was finally and I just lived with him on Cloud 9. Our Cloud.

This type of love involves making sacrifices sure, and is a lifelong commitment; ya that's the point, and we saw we were not narcissists so it's what we wanted finally, we didn't see sacrifice as a bigger issue than Perfect Love & Perfect Trust. Creative days, Calm Intelligent nights, fun filled lunches, and absolutely no fights. For us it was fun; easier than not, and worth every moment whenever there was a sacrifice to be made. With feelings that only grew stronger over time making the sacrifice just something you can appreciate; that you can sacrifice what ever it was when it came along. Then get back to the tv; or the yard work, or the animals, or meditation; our life was never boring, and sacrifices never came up; they were just things we did when ever they took place; like having to clean the carpet, so we can feel the softness on our bare feet. True Love is when there is hardly anything to sacrifice as a state of mind and feelings, and we always wanted to give each other more; that when there was something to sacrifice, it was a pleasure or exciting, to give even more. We grew with everything and loved each other with all of ourselves, thus we definitely grew from a few sacrifices. According to the dictionary; love is "an intense feeling of deep affection", add emotion, spirituality and servitude and we felt them for each other all the time. Yes I think servitude because all I wanted to do was serve him what ever he wanted of me, and vice versa.

He brought the most cognitive, spiritual and emotional intelligence knowledge and education into the relationship, so there was no place to find mistreatment or dismissive reactions. He always asked me "what can I get you my love", so I knew I was safe forever with him. Dictionaries define love as, "The act of caring and giving to someone, but that's a little basic, Love is a little more than that don't you think?

Basically you gotta care and give because that's what you wanna do when you love someone. Basically you don't want to deny getting that joy of giving to the one you love, so I couldn't give enough. He always wanted to give to me, so I couldn't just take and take, I had to give back. However what can you give a man that always asked to massage you before going to bed? What I ask?

He did so much for me, that I always had to think of things to do for him; like decorate, like make homemade cards, sing karaoke songs, these artistic pictures I created online, buying products online; another drawing for him on the fridge, a beautiful dinner, a walk in the forest, take more pictures of him, I couldn't give enough. So basically; the Act of Empathic Spiritual Love, is all we gave to each other everyday, and I'm not saying that for self-grandiosity and superiority feelings because I have a narcissistic false self; I'm saying it because he's been and I've been Spiritual Empaths ever since we could remember (in hindsight). Maybe he remembers more now because he's in the spiritual world, but that's what it was like.

I know now in hindsight that I was a spiritual empath when I was at least 10 years old. I remember I used to avoid hurting or stepping on any insects while walking to school. I would talk to them as I went by to tell them not to worry and that they're safe with me. I wasn't feeling like "oh I know they hear me, I feel spiritually connected" I just spoke to them and knew they'd at least hear by tone, that I was not a threat. I also remember while playing outside, that I would say hi and talk to any insects that came around me. I didn't give any thought to whether or not they can understand me in any way. I avoided hurting as many insects as possible, because I knew also, that killing and hurting another being is a terrible thing. And when I realized I killed something from walking on them, I was devastated. Yes, I am that person who wouldn't hurt a fly.

Being a child talking to insects and being the truth-teller about bad people, doesn't mean I only talked to insects, and I only tell the truth about Narcissists; it means I tell the truth about myself and all things as much as I can, and truthfully I've been that way forever. I don't know all things, but what I do know I wish to share. I can talk forever about the love I experienced, and how I always cared only about love while growing up, and how I felt even insects experience some sort of Love beyond my comprehension. I can talk about Narcissists, people with NPD and dumdums forever, so I do on all the other pages because I talk about what I know, while Narcissists talk from their arse. I've never needed to pretend I'm some sort of Love or Spiritual Guru, like they pretend they're good people and real geniuses.

I'm just saying that I feel that this magical thinking has helped me and brought so much love back to me, in my life. Without losing mental stability, cognitive abilities or stability with reality.

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜; 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐟𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐭𝐡, 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐲, 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝, 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞, 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐧, 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬,

𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩, 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝-𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥, 𝐬𝐲𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐲, 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐲, 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠. 

 

          It is my empathic magical thinking with Spirituality that helps me also to spot a spiritual fake when I see one. I try not to let it get to me when I do spot them now, because I know I can slip on that borderline between Light and Dark Empath.

          Not a good or bad empath, just one who is full of love, but feeling negative and terrible for a certain amount of time. Upset at people and what's happening but is soldiering on, with a force of a barrier no one wants to cross. I never feel that dark unless a Narcissist is bullshitting right in front of me.

          I'm more level headed and realistic now, not to mention tolerant of others lack of empathy or concern, and it's my realistic way of living by caring and empathising with people, that has me spot a person who just says they care and empathise but really don't. I know because, I spot one in my own family, and she's the worst.

          She claims to be an Empath, but that would be true if she claimed to be a Dark Triad Empath, and she's not at all Spiritual Loving or Empathic but she is a bitter and spoiled blood sucking manipulative vampire that promotes herself as spiritual loving and an empathetic person that helps others.

          I've seen her manipulate and try to use me and others all my life, never a dull moment where she wasn't trying to manipulate me and my siblings. Right up to the last time I saw her at my Mom's Shiva, trying to manipulate and use some male visitors.

          A disgusting display of what I would be letting go of, for the good of my soul, after the Shiva was over and I wanted nothing to do with her. She only loves herself while incapable of sharing or having a deep connection with anyone.

          I've had No Contact with her for years; her and her psychopathy and narcissism I had to deal with all my life, but her claiming even that she's an Empath is an insult to all Empaths, and is a false claim.

          Even a Dark Empath is capable of showing genuine empathy while able to outfox skilled manipulators for the greater good of humanity, but she's incapable of genuine empathy for anyone but herself, and doesn't give a shit about humanity, as she shows none on a daily basis.

          I already talked about Dark Empaths on the Empath page, and placed the Dark Empath in the Glossary; with links to also the Dark Tetrad and the Dark Triad Narcissist. She would fit in the category of Dark Triad Narcissist.

          In psychology, the dark triad refers to the personality traits of subclinical narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism. They are called 'dark' because of their malevolent qualities. Machiavellianism that is marked by high levels of self-interest.

          With a subclinical (nonpathological) narcissism and psychopathy — that share certain features, including emotional coldness, duplicity, and aggressiveness.

          Add selfish, illogical, irrational and lies like a rug, and that's my oldest Sister, while using her sexuality to get what she wants from the opposite sex. She used to use me on the dancefloor, to play her date while trying to attract men to her. Disgusting and not something an Empath would do.

          I know she's not even a Dark Empath because Dark Empaths are dark yes, but many of them are fed up or sick and tired that so many people hurt everyone, and use everyone (or they themselves were hurt), and are just protecting their souls by being dark and appearing Narcissistic.

          She doesn't care that many people hurt everyone, as long as they don't hurt her, and she doesn't want to be used, she wants to be the user, and she always just protected herself.

          She's not a believer in souls and spirits although she's trying to convince everyone she meets, that she's a beautiful person with a good soul and lots of spirit. She's incapable of respect for others, justs as she is behaving appropriately when at someone's funeral.

          So I don't want me to start talking about my oldest Sister of the worst kind, I wanna get back to truly loving someone and the deep connection that is shared. All that I write about my siblings on these pages, I will eventually gather and remove, then place on more sibling pages. So let's continue, about LOVE.

From me having the best interest and wellbeing for others as a priority in my life, to truly loving others; feels like a kind of euphoric happiness in bliss back and forth of giving LOVE and receiving more. A connection with the world that Narcissists will never understand, BECAUSE IT HAS TO DO WITH GIVING AND RECEIVING LOVE.

Vocally Spiritual Empaths like myself, are always expressing our love to others, or how we're feeling with the love we hold for them, while I find people who are not spiritually aware; have a difficult time expressing themselves at all, can't talk like this about someone, let alone express very well the depth in which they feel love. Explaining the logical, physical or materialistic depth to why I love you; or the powerful words of scientific and cognitive connection to why I love you, is not as beautiful as the meaningful and moving spiritualistic or "magicalistic" connection and depth of explanation, using spiritual metaphors and philosophies of Love; explanation to why I love you. With detail visuals of floating on a cloud and such.

Google told me that, in the Platonic Love theory: "The philosopher Plato argued that love is a desire for the beauty and goodness of another person, rather than a physical attraction." Everyone sees beauty in different ways, we saw beauty as a spiritual ahhh that moved us, and would explain it as such. A rose is not just a beautiful rose, it comes with details of how beautiful it is, and I love expressing them all. We always saw the beauty in us, separate and together. He told me I looked beautiful everyday. He believed that true love is based on a deep connection between two beautiful people that is rooted in shared values and a common understanding of the world, people and animals. However as he was connected to "other worlds", he could explain what I'm explaining, but in a deeper manner, with all the best words and all the right punctuations.

When explaining things in a deeper manner was received from each other, it was physically; emotionally, empathically and spiritually more stimulating, and even though many other abilities were important in our big Love Story, those were the abilities that enhanced our world, so it felt like we were in a cloud together and going to live forever. He loved me so much I wanted to give him another one of me.

The best definition of love is having a deep bond based in commitment, respect, trust, and acceptance. However I could've used many more words to say the least, but Love means being dedicated to that person forever; holding their desires and dreams in high esteem; for my sweet Ed was my muse, was my sculpture of inspiration, my rock, and salt of the earth. I used to think he chose me, but now I know that I was the chosen one.

Not Luke Skywalker chosen, but chosen more like; for me genuinely being a good person with a pure heart exhibiting kindness and performing altruistic acts for others including more than I should. With having genuine love for helping others and making them feel alive when doing so over the years; so the Gods blessed me, with these feelings I receive deeply. We were not perfect, but we were perfect for eachother; accepting each other for who we were and loving every bit of it, discussing important things and how we feel, and trusting that each other feels the same or deeply understands. More simply; him waking up in the mornings and meeting me in the TV room or the music room; throwing his arms up high, smiling and announcing; "My Darling it's another day with you!", is how I knew he felt the same or deeply understood me more than anyone else I could ever want to be with could. In Perfect Love & Perfect Trust both of us recognized and valued each other's individuality; creativity, spirituality, intelligence, knowledge, opinions, needs wants and feelings. All Ed & I wanted to do for 21+ years, was be together everyday and forever. He showed consideration and concern for my needs and wishes all the time, so he was my one true love and we watched out for each other all the time. I Miss Him so, yet I know he hears and sees me still. As a spiritual person it's beautiful to write this, hear this & talk like this. I miss all that, so I'm glad I had this opportunity to communicate a lot of my love with you this way.

💖Tʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴏʀ sʜᴀʀɪɴɢ, ᴄᴀʀɪɴɢ, ɪɴsᴘɪʀɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴠɪsɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴍʏ Bʟᴏɢsᴘᴏᴛ💖