Them

          Allot of them are crooks, thieves and scammers. Allot of them borrow and do not return. Allot of them ask for equality but take more and give less. Allot of them also, engage in fraud and trickery, for profit or gaining more supply.

          I saw these scammers for the Narcissists that they are, before knowing about Narcissists, and I would try to stay away or just remember and learn to become better than them, in Perfect Love & Perfect Trust, for the good of all harming none.

          Every Time I was with these Narcissists, they made me see how wonderfully better I am as a human being, then they are. I am better than them, and you are better than them. Even an animal is, and even a Tree.

          You're authentic, you're genuine, you don't have hidden agendas when you give to others, and that makes you better than them. Better quality people have better quality traits.

          The Better Quality Traits of a better quality Person to me is being Honest; with the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Reliable, Loyal, generous and humble. It's why they want to use us or target us.

          You're Disciplined, Forgiving, Optimistic, Compassion, Always listening, always caring and Conscientious. You have Integrity, Morals, Standards, Ethics, Etiquette and Emotional Intelligence.

          You're kind and cooperative without others doubting you, and while Calm, Cheerful, truthful and mindful, you show beautiful traits that people appreciate and love. Add Spiritual and full of love, emotional intelligence, and always wanting to show intimacy and emotional support to others, and they love you even more.

•           10 Questions to Ask Yourself: Do you help others expecting something in return? ... Do you use shaming language? ... Do you tend to blame others for your problems? ... Do you try to “one-up” people who come to you with a struggle or good news or an argument? ...

•           Do you tend to take more than you give? .... Do you love creating drama, and your life is full of it? ... Do you lie often? ... Do you gossip? ... Do you disrespect or have contempt for Law Enforcement Officials and Authority? ,,, and do you aggressively interrupt because you disagree when someone's telling you how bad you made them feel when you said this or that?...

•           If you answered No to all of them, I love you, thumbs up and way to go. You are not toxic, you are a beauty with a loving heart, deserving a life of total happiness and genuine Love. I'm proud of you and you should be too because I'm sure you're nothing like them.

          I'm sending you heartfelt congratulations right now for a lifetime of amazing achievement; being a beautiful person is hard work, but you get paid in everything you give. You deserve the best friends in your life and lots of everything that gives you feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment.

•           If you answered Yes to those questions, you are a toxic Narcissist. A toxic narcissist will read this and say "this guy is fucked up", and that's because they like to leave lasting impacts of negativity on those they disagree with, instead of asking for help from me "to make them a better person."

          Very few of them are sick of themselves being a narcissist (in private and in public), being the person that can only equivocate, fabricate, aggressively react, scam and lie and cheat, and not give a shit about anything or anyone, unless they need something or someone.

          Narcissists spend time thinking you're a nobody, and that nobody gives a shit about anyone and nobody cares about you; stemming down to having contempt for others and the less fortunate and people who do nothing for them. That alone is one of their biggest projections, in stupid words from who they really are; the nobody.

          They are not genuinely interested in the lives; emotions, needs, preferences, and hopes of anyone, when they act or speak that way against others; all they can do is try to pretend when necessary.

          Nevertheless; there are many people who can see they are projecting; and that they're not genuine in caring for anyone, because we know what is genuine in regards to caring for others, in actions and words.

          They can't even be genuine to their nearest and dearest; who seem unimportant unless they are a source of supply or a source of quid pro quo. We are all merely instruments of gratification and supply to them, while they live on a continuous cycle of quid pro quo targets and supply.

          As far as people not giving a shit about anyone, it may seem that way to someone who is only thinking about themselves and their own situation, but basically that is not true.

          Many people care about everyone. I even care about people I don't know, and people I imagine about. Many people help and support others on a daily basis as best as they can, I only wish I could do more for people suffering out there.

          So they're wrong; there are other people that would; give a shit about them, especially when they don't know that they would be helping out a Narcissist with nothing but all sorts of subterfuge on the brain.

          The fact of the matter is a lower percent of the population care about everyone, it's just not all the people who care can help everyone. Caring and helping are two different things but narcissists want both and that's that. They don't want a new chance, they want a new life, with all the financial stability of a millionaire.

          So, the term "nobody cares" is just not true, but in the narcissist's life; in the way they look for help, or where they look for help, with their-people and the company they keep; the company just sits around together saying no one gives a shit about us, expecting help to miraculously come any minute now.

          Anyway, if we are the company we keep, and they keep the company of other Narcissists, Psychopaths, dumdums and flying monkeys, then why would we give a shit about them?

          People have their own problems; their own lives, and their own people to care about, they don't have the time to help everyone, but they wish they could because, they care.

          There are people in Caring groups, organizations, and telephone helplines, with volunteers (with time and money) to help as many people as they can. Online and offline you can find help and support for almost everything.

          There are generous humanitarians, altruists, the socially concerned, and selfless people out there that help alot and make a big difference in the lives of many.

          It's called humanity, kindness, compassion, humaneness, and all the great things that Narcissists just don't have time to be involved in or a part of.

          If a narcissist had alot of money, and helped people with it, it's for immediate self-gratification and confirmation of what a good person they are.

          There are philanthropists who have alot of money and donate, and there are philanthropists who don't have alot of money but donate it also. To groups, to charities, to companies that help others and even parts of government that make a difference.

          There are genuine people who care about others, and spend time all day helping in some capacity; you just have to reach out to them; for example food banks, shelters, guidance people. However you do have to know how to behave and speak to these people, and those are things Narcissists have a hard time with.

          I'm a Spiritual Empath, I have no choice but to care about the earth and all who live on it, but I can not help everyone. I'm genuine all the time and try to help someone when I can.

 However if that person doesn't know how to behave or speak to me in a respectful, humble, grateful and appreciative manner at least, I will think twice about helping them.

          I give more of myself than Non-Empaths, I tell it like it is and I tell the truth. I share everything without omission; and I have the emotional intelligence with my understanding and intuitions that need no words when someone is trying to explain their emotions and how they feel.

          I can feel their emotions deeply, and thus understand immediately so I wish to help. I will wish to help them, even with no love or happiness in my life. I don't need instruments of gratification or a quid pro quo from anyone to help anyone; I just need to be with Love in my Heart.

          If I have genuine Love from one genuine Friend or Love in my life; if or when I get that again, I would be able to help even more people (and better), because of overflowing emotions of love and happiness I have in my life from that one person.

          So now when I deal with a narcissist or anyone who sounds like one, I am indifferent about them, just as they are indifferent about the reality of various situations that they have found themselves in. I reciprocate and communicate with my whole heart with anyone else but them; with them I can not, because they don't let me.

          I am not a pathological fabricator or manipulator that talks faster and faster to confuse others; yet I have a high tolerance level ready for combat, so it lets me hear from them for longer, assessing who I'm dealing with, to make sure I see them for who they are.

          I don't like to judge, but now I need to (like Judge Judy), because I don't really like my high tolerance for Narcissistic behaviour anymore, that's an enabler waiting to be broken apart or deeply disappointed again, it just hurts too much. Plus I already ruminate and have bad dreams everyday and every night about them in my life.

          I don't play happy when I'm sad, I don't play sad when I'm happy. I don't play games that hurt others, I don't play games and lie about the rules.

          I know the rules, I play by the rules, but I won't play their game and lose. I'm too aware to not say what I feel in perfect Love and perfect Trust; even if I'm upset as all hell and about to bust. If I accept anything from anyone, I accept it without quid pro quo and make sure that person hears me.

          I am the truth-teller (the black sheep for the narcissists), I am the opposite of the narcissist that will not be their scapegoat, the one that only wants Love and was blessed to be a Momma's Boy and a good person with a pure heart: having sympathy and empathy for others all my life.

          Even when you have one good sibling who means well, yet support the other narcissistic siblings by going against the beautiful trying parents, that good sibling becomes bad news. She is the dumdum, because she inherently picked up all the traits, and lives a life of a Narcissist now.

          After her staying connected and supportive and there for them for years, by keeping secrets and lying for them; that good sibling became their scapegoat and then became a narcissist from the choice of maintaining a close relationship over the years for what ever reason.

          You can only imagine the damage to the family unit after all the years of such behaviour and disrespect by all your siblings, against your beautiful parents.

          I totally understand how one parent would get depressed, and give up; fight about them with the other parent, and start over-drinking alcohol to numb the pain in their heart; becoming distant, neglectful and non-reactive any longer. While the other parent starts to show rage against your siblings, with what appears to look like aggressive child and spousal abuse.

          I totally understand because I saw it and lived with it. My mother and her drinking was not the reason for my siblings narcissistic behavior or criminal acts, and my father was not violent with child abuse before the children were older and more threatening to them both.

          I also as a child thought that I was witnessing child and spousal abuse, but growing up to learn that was the result and consequences of my sibling's narcissistic actions and confabulations that had me think that way.

          Confabulations are a neuropsychiatric disorder wherein a patient generates false memories without the intention of deceit, but with justifiable reason to why they are the way they are. However my siblings were deceitful as children so without intent or with intent, doesn't matter to me.

          It was a tricksters manipulative paradise in our childhood home with them, they all had their own dysfunctional ways about them that had me feel that I better get outta here before it's too late.

          I couldn't get out fast enough but at 15 after a few Modelling gigs, I had the opportunity to just pack up my pillow and some underwear, and go move in with a nice girl - that didn't tell me she was a prostitute with a boyfriend Pimping her.

          If Narcissists are always confabulating, deceitful, apathetic, aggressively reacting and blaming others for 100% of their misfortunes, why the hell would anyone believe them when they blame their parents for the way they are or what they do.

          When I left home I tried not to be with or support any of my siblings because of the abusive lifestyle they had me involved in while growing up. Unfortunately I had to reach out for help and live with my two sisters sooner than later, but what a surprise, it only ended in screaming and fighting like animals not long after.

          I saw they didn't grow up like I did, to be a better person, to not be selfish, to be genuine and loving, accept criticism, eventually realize the truth about them as children, and have or show big or small regret; emotional intelligence, concern, or acceptance to how terrible they were to Mom and Dad.

          All I saw them as, were juveniles that would aggressively react like apathetic hostile animals spewing nonsense when they didn't get their way with Mommy & Daddy. I never wanted to be like them and didn't enjoy spending time with them either.

          I really didn't like them as people. I already knew that you could become the company you keep, which is why I left the prostitute, as nice as she was to me. I already knew that if you support someone who is rotten to the core, you are also as dangerous as they are also.

          They don't have to be rotten to the core, but even just rotting a little is disturbing, because a little rot can beget more rot. I lived alone after that happened while I just got a job in the Hairdressing Industry.

          However after leaving that Salon of Narcissistic toxicity to do hair on my own, I chose the Narcissistic environment of a nice condo with friends as roommates and left the 6 years of Toxic Hair Salons behind me.

          More toxic all in one place with roommates became unbearable, and I felt unsafe as it was dangerous for me downtown living with narcissistic roommates being their goody-goody two-shoes and live-in scapegoat, or living on my own. Luckily Mom & Dad's Unconditional Love was always there for me just a phone call away.

          Even if I missed my Sisters & Brother, and wanted to connect with them I stopped myself because they would have had me do things I didn't want to do, listening to bullshit I didn't want to listen too, and one time connecting would beget another.

          In the past being their scapegoat and encouraging me to be all I can be as long as it suited them; had me hearing things I didn't want to hear, seeing things I didn't want to see, saying things I didn't want to say, and owning traits I didn't want to own.

          I wanted to own my own life without them, and while they supported each other enabling disgusting behaviours that I disapproved of, they had me always fear that that whole cycle would begin again and again with just a phone call.

          Family is important, yes, but I knew my siblings were influencing each other with God knows what; and I found out what, so I wanted nothing to do with any of them.

          Family to me, meant when you have siblings that constantly emotionally and psychologically abuse you while making you need them; you just wanted to get away from them, and when you did, you see that because of them, you missed and felt guilty for leaving, Mom and Dad, because all they did was Love you and Protect you.

          So when Mom and Dad were both gone to the afterlife, I left them all and lived a healing and nurturing loving life with my loving partner, recovered and not needing any of their so-called love for me, not needing them for anything at all.

          I was starting to really heal and grow with my partner, it was like my soul was growing and my heart was flourishing, while my mind was expanding if that's possible. If they had a connection to me I was going to be under their thumb and in their control again. So no thanks and no-contact.

          Even while they appeared to try to connect with me, genuinely be there for me, and give me things, while living with my partner; I knew the connection would not maintain itself, because it wasn't my deep connection to them, it was their shallow connection, to me; and secret quid pro quo.

          They could have called me up anytime for me to do something for them, and regardless of how I felt about it, they'd remind me about all the things they've done for me implying I owe them.

          Narcissists would do that to me, and try to use me for anything they can (an alibi, a place to hide, information about one of the others, work they want me to do, or even just love & support, empathy, and so on.

          It's very important to spot those Red Flags of theirs, and one thing you can look out for is the way they speak to you. The words they use, and when they use them.

          Below are tons of words from tons of word-salads they all like to say when necessary during an argument, as if they've all memorized the words from the same sheet of paper entitled, 

• "Bullshit you can tell others to fuck them up emotionally and mentally", and if they use them long enough over the years, physically.

          During arguments or Narcissists being argumentative with me over the years, only to deflect or project or gaslight me, I collected what they've all used, and it starts with,

•           "It is what it is." That's my favorite.

          I hear that one all the time and could never stand listening to it from anyone, even from a stranger or someone I adore, but it's hard to tell a stranger or someone you adore to not use that phrase because it makes them sound like a narcissist, so I let them use it and move on. Most likely they've been using it for too long to stop anyway.

•           Here are some more; "My Ex is crazy." ... "I'm sorry you feel that way." ... "Why are you playing with my emotions?" ... "I don't know what else to tell you." ... "I already apologised to you." ... "You're being Crazy." ... "You're Jealous." ... "What's wrong with you?" ... "I'm not lying." ... "Wow, you have anger issues." ... and "Did you ever stop and think that maybe it's you, and not me?"

•           "Wow, you're really mean." ... "You're really hurtful." ... "You're so insecure." ... "Why are you overreacting?" ... "I never said that. I never did that." ... "That never happened." ... "That's a lie." ... "It's not my fault you made me do it." ... "No wonder you're alone." ... "No wonder no one likes you." ... "I was joking." ... "You're too sensitive." ... "You're so selfish." ... "You did it to yourself." ... and "You're really a bad person."

•           "Why are you being this way to me?" ... "I'm a busy person." ... "After everything I've done for you?" ... "You don't know what it's like to have bla bla bla." ... "You're always mad at me." ... "You always wanna argue." ... "You're being really irrational." ... "That's not fair." ... "I do not make it all about me." ... "I don't give a shit about that." ... "That's really fucked up." ... and "I don't want to argue with you."

•           "You know I have a terrible memory." ... "That's your fault." ... "You knew what you were getting into." ... "You're the one interrupting me all the time." ... "Can we talk about something else?" ... "I'll talk to you after you calm down." ... "You're reading to much into it." ... "I can't believe you what's wrong with you?" ... "I knew that would happen." ... "I told you that would happen." ... and "You're so judgemental."

          I tried to distance myself from them, so as to not become another one of their pawns or enablers only to get closer, because then my happy life with my loving partner would become stressful for my partner and I, and my happy life would become another terrible one because of them in it again.

          I never forgot what they all did to my loving Mom and Dad and me, over the years, and how our happy life turned terrible because of them. If my parents were guilty of anything, it was of giving them what ever they wanted within good reason while they were children, but as those children grew older they wanted within bad reason.

          I've reached my limit with them now, and that limit lies on the threshold of "no turning back. I turned back too many times before meeting my loving partner, while trying to survive the torment of having to see them regularly while living with Mom before moving in with him.

          Before that downtown in my 20s and 30s, narcissists were using me the whole time for things to satisfy their selfish lifestyles and self-grandiosity, but genuinely I still connected with others on a heart-to-heart level and with compassion and respect, as that is my normal, just as my heart is on my sleeves.

          I don't want and I'm not having my Siblings in my life anymore. I'm not downtown anymore, I'm not with Mom anymore, I'm not with my loving partner anymore, I'm not with friends anymore, I'm not Fuckwithable anymore, and I'm not in danger anymore.

          I only have myself with my experience, intelligence and awareness of what is right and what is wrong. I have my freedom, my music and my cats. I have my joys and I have my pains, but I have my heart full of love, spirituality, empathy, integrity, ethics, etiquette, memories of my beloved and contact with my friends online.

          Not them. Not anymore. I will deal with the odd Narcissist or narcissism when they come around one by one separately, but now I can begin my healing and recovery again. Without them.