For me, it's easy and genuinely beautiful being a genuine beautiful person all the time and feeling genuine beautiful feelings with genuine beautiful people when I'm with them. I just love them for them.
However I've been through so many toxic and narcissistic experiences with toxic people in my life - in private and in public; in the past and in the present with strangers - siblings - coworkers - memories - dreams - ruminating - surrounding me like I'm - in a box - within a box - within a box - and working from their playbook and it's the opposite of beautiful.
When I'm in my box - in a box - within a box, it means they're making me feel like I need to hide from them, there's fire everywhere, I don't want to get out, but I know I have to. They keep talking and driving me insane, I don't deserve to be in this box though. Boxes should be for them.
They use boxes also, and i mean mentally, to put us in them. I'm not claustrophobic, but who likes being in a box? Not me, however I prefer toxic Narcissists all squished together in a box, then I would send that box away.
They have boxes to keep us in, but I'll just keep one big box, that will be full of all their abuse and tricks, bullshit, clipboard communications and playbooks in, so I can remember and refer to them when necessary.
While we are the normal people that put things in boxes, they're the ones that put people in boxes, to open and use them when they want. Ungrateful for anyone in the boxes sharing their own perspectives that go against theirs.
The one's they put in boxes are being simplified, stereotyped, or even caricatured by them: not being given the respect of being a human being, just something they can compartmentalize.
Narcissists often use secrecy and compartmentalization in their relationships with people, with those that support them, those that maybe don't, and those that absolutely will not, all mentally placed in boxes.
So that they can try maintain control, manipulate the person, reinforce their image and keep them off-balance, not to mention keep them in their place. For the Narcissist, you live in a box of their own making.
For example, if the Narcissist feels like you remind them of all the terrible aspects of themselves, the narcissist uses this function of compartmentalization to separate your actions and thoughts into separate categories, allowing them to prioritize the positive aspects of themselves and push the negative aspects out of their awareness.
I don't live in their box but I have my own box - in a box - within a box - within a box - of their wrongdoings, bullshit and playbooks. I like my boxes because they're safe away from everyone, feel safe when I have to visit them, comfortable for me to remain calm, in a secret place no one can get to but me, and they're organized.
Since I have their playbooks in the box and almost memorized by heart, I will act or behave like a Narcissist to them when necessary, for example, to get out of those boxes so I can fight fire with fire.
Especially when I feel their reactive abuse technique in play. For me a Narcissist or Toxic person being rude and aggressive in front of me is like a big fire you want to stay away from for your own safety, or you can end up in the ashes.
However, if at some time they're in your home and won't get out, like because they're your sibling, it might be the time where you have to face the fire, and even try to maintain it so it doesn't get out of control and hurt not only you, but others.
Since I need to speak up for myself and others, I have to fight back with wit and words, and I do it with a risk of sounding and appearing just like a dark empath or narcissist, while physically and mentally it's not the case and, completely draining.
When I'm faced with aggressive 'Narcissism Fire', or a person I would call a Narcissist behaving in a belligerent hostile manner, I would have to put on my tough suit, jump in the fire and get those ashes all over me right away, while I play their game for a bit, as they go at me like a fire at sea in my own boat, or a violent burglar in my own home.
Sometimes you can Yellow Rock them, sometimes you can Grey Rock them, but sometimes it's necessary for you to defend yourself against the bullshit that's coming out of their mouth-holes, and the aggressive bully behavior that stands before you.
It's hard to feel like the genuine empathic beautiful person you are when you go through this time and time again, as you have to toughen up to say what you have to say - which only sounds like insults, lies and an invitation for battle with them. You have to also do what you have to do, so you have to be what you have to be.
To me, If you have to fight fire with fire, it means you have to fight Narcissism with Narcissism, which means behaving like them, such as standing strong, or dismissing the things they say, hurting their ego or feelings with what you have to say, sounding threatening and trying to manipulate the conversation to your advantage.
Everything coming out of you may sound like some of the things that come out of them; gaslighting, DARVO'ing, rudeness, hurtfulness, projection, accusations, playing the victim, and emotional appeals, but they're not, they're just normal reactions to toxic Narcissistic reactive abuse you can't tolerate anymore, from those who have said to you "I love you", but really they don't.
They don't love you if they're standing their disrespecting your boundaries that's for sure. They don't love you when they shift the blame onto you all the time, acting arrogant or with a haughty attitude. They don't love you when they easily make promises and break them, lie to you, shame you, accuse you, and the list goes on.
You have to fight their fire with your fire, because they won't let you get away unless you do, and even though you tell them to stop and go away, they just keep coming at you like they have the right to stay and argue with you, so you have no choice. Let your fire burn them.
You have no choice because for example they've disrespected you and your boundaries and now they're at your home, you tell them to leave but they won't.
I would let my fire burn them, and while they burn, I remember that they may call me names, but all those names are being projected as the things that they are.
It's okay for you to appear narcissistic at this point, you're still a beautiful Empath and not a Narcissist; you're just in control, and wise to use their own narcissistic techniques and traits against them at this crucial point. For example, manipulation; you will be manipulating the argument, not another person.
You're manipulating in a way, that the argument will end, as soon as possible so you can move on with your day and without them in your face, in your ears, or in your home, continuing a draining process that becomes exhausting, leaving you shaking or getting you hostile.
WARNING: UNTIL THEY ARE GONE, don't put your hands on them, don't instigate physical violence, and don't throw something at them that they can tell a judge "look what they did to me your honor, and all I wanted to do was to talk it out." I understand that you'll want to push them down the stairs or something, but don't.
WHEN THEY LEAVE AND WHEN THEY'RE GONE, take a deep breath, do an instant-meditation and get a cup of your favorite drink with your favorite music playing. - Sit down, breath-in and exhale slowly - Drink, and feel proud that you were in control. Stop yourself when the rumination happens by vocally meditating over it, and hold yourself up and proud against any self-doubt.
You will have put out the flames, or the fire will subside, or they will take their fire, and drive off into oblivion, until you hear from them again. It's not a nice thing to go through, but sometimes you have to go through the fire, to survive it, and get to the beautiful again.
When you survive what they put you through, know that you were right the whole time, and that you're still a beautiful empathic person who does not deserve that kind of toxic person in your life. Remember you are not the Narcissist, you were just fighting with one and they make you feel like you are.
I can be beautiful, but I can be vicious and aggressive also if a Narcissist or Toxic person fucks with me, because today I am unfuckwithable. For in the past, I let them have their way most of the time, take advantage of me, and emotionally and psychologically abuse and drain me.
I choose the beautiful empathic person in me over acting narcissistic, always, but to keep my beautiful person in me safe against narcissistic abuse, I may have to be narcissistic when faced with their fire again, in my own home where they are not welcome.
Especially when someone dear to me is with me, I will protect us both at that time the same way, if that toxic Narcissist comes around ready for another argument or fight.
It's hard to just turn off empathy and compassion for others, only to act narcissistic for a moment in an emergency to defend myself against a Narcissist.
However I don't have to turn off those feelings, because toxic narcissistic people are not the 'others' I'm talking about, they are Narcissists that already burned up the empathy and compassion I had for them.
I always have those deep feelings for others turned on high. There's no more deep feelings for those Narcissists, because they are incapable to have a deep connection with me, let alone themselves. Their feelings are shallow and don't even reach the depth from which my feelings actuate, or activate, or energize, or come from for others.
So the empathy and compassion is still there, they're just there for everyone else. When their fire is before me, the power of emotional turmoil with physical vibrations and the need to protect myself and survive it all, are positively inspired by those feelings and makes me stronger than they can imagine.
Basically I just explained everything it's like to have and have had, Narcissistic people in my life from roommates and coworkers downtown to siblings and strangers uptown.
However I know naturally I would never recommend anyone to instigate physically fighting or hurting anyone (SEE WARNING AGAIN 12 PARAGRAPHS UP).
I know that Narcissists sometimes give you no choice but to get just as hostile and bullylike, rude and dismissive, with name-calling and being aggressive as they are, and they can push you to the limit.
But never get physical with them, you will regret it, you can get argumentative and Loud, hostile, rude with words and sound, but even that's exhausting, and embarrassing if anyone can see or hear us.
If you can't avoid them at some point from attacking and arguing with you, you will need to attack and argue back (just not physically), so that you can protect yourself, your heart, and the ones you truly care about.
You can walk away, but they will keep coming. You can keep Yellow Rocking or Grey Rocking them, but metaphorically they will always be throwing rocks at you to break you down, and they're heavy rocks with words or actions.
If you can't have the Toxic Narcissist out of your life, at least have them far away from it; because you need to be with people like yourself; empaths, with feelings and sharing, and emotional intelligence making you smile, trust yourself and others again, believe in yourself and others again, from a place of care, appreciation and love.
To heal, to grow, to recover and to live a life you truly deserve for being such a beautiful empathic human being. You deserve the best, not the worst, you deserve genuine love, not genuine narcissistic toxicity.
💖𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 💖𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞. 💖 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐜, 𝐠𝐨 𝐧𝐨-𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐁𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞.💖
You, as a genuine Empathic person, you will connect with others again, through deeper feelings, love of sharing, making you smile, and making you trust again. It'll come from a place of care; concern, truth and appreciating you, again, not by lies and manipulation. Relax, breath, and heal.
We experience intense feelings and are also deeply influenced by others' feelings, sometimes even taking those feelings on as our own. Triggers can include exposure to suffering, tragic events, deep intimacy, feeling helpless, and not feeling taken seriously.
We need to learn to protect our own energy and embody both our shadow and light aspects; while maintaining the ability to tap into, care for, love, and identify with whoever we encounter. This makes us healers to ourselves and the world around us, while in a wonderful place to be.
Now back to the narcissists and toxic people, that claim to be empaths, but they are the Triad of Dark Empaths? Genuine empaths that are dark. A dark empath is a person who understands another person's emotions but doesn't experience those feelings. Instead they may give off cold and unforgiving feelings.
They may have empathy for you, but it's dark energy more than empathy, it's cold, and though they may pretend like they care about what you're going through, they would rather use your emotions to manipulate you, just like a toxic narcissist would.
Dark Empaths are self-centered and Manipulative. Dark empaths use their finely honed manipulation tactics to convince others to do what they want. With a nice smile and positive demeanor.
Their insight into others combined with their willingness to lie and their sense of grandiosity and self-importance gives them exceptional skills in manipulation.
They've been practicing since childhood and manipulating others into adulthood, however sometimes their constant anxiety; self‐consciousness, their irritability, irrationality and emotional instability (not to mention Machiavellianism and narcissism) can tip you off.
Machiavellians are sly, deceptive, distrusting, and manipulative people that are characterized by cynical and misanthropic beliefs, callousness, striving for money, power, and status, with the use of cunning influence tactics.
Empath's of Love and Empathy; who are lightworkers and a shining light for others, will know when they come across a Dark empath, but an average unaware person, could fall head over heels for them.
Dark Empath's score a little higher in neuroticism; a personality trait that reflects a person's level of emotional stability, or emotional intelligence. I am sharing this with you because yes, one of my Siblings claim to be an Empath, but she is the darkest and most dirty one - closer to just being a Toxic Narcissist with a Dark Tetrad of personalities, not an Empath.
She would lie to your face, like she has to my parents and I, my parent's friends, and the other two siblings. She would lie to someone about you while right in front of you, like she has about me in front of me, and she would lie to herself, like she has her whole life while confabulating great grandiose experiences for others to admire her.
With false memories, delusions, and false beliefs spewing out of her to impress you, you just have to watch her behavior to realize her words do not match her actions. It's as easy as someone saying they travel around the world, but ask them questions about it, and see they know nothing about the world.
Dark Empaths are often defined with agenda in mind; agendas like negative personality traits involving negative emotions, poor self-regulation, poor judgment, misperceptions, trouble dealing with stress, and inappropriate behavior and comments.
Not to mention a strong reaction to perceived threats, self-centered communication & selfish wants, gaslighting, self-victimization, lying, sexually seducing, and complaining over things and ways they can't have. Their neuroticism may reflect sub-traits such as anger, hostility, resentment or self-doubt and insecurities.
Hᴇʀᴇ's ᴀ Fᴜɴ ꜰᴀᴄᴛ﹕ Zodiac signs most likely to be 'dark empaths' are Gᴇᴍɪɴɪ ⁽Mᴀʏ 21 ⁻ Jᴜɴᴇ 20⁾ ⁻ Sᴄᴏʀᴘɪᴏ ⁽Oᴄᴛᴏʙᴇʀ 23 ⁻ Nᴏᴠᴇᴍʙᴇʀ 21⁾ ⁻ Vɪʀɢᴏ ⁽Aᴜɢᴜsᴛ 23 ⁻ Sᴇᴘᴛᴇᴍʙᴇʀ 22⁾ ⁻ Sᴀɢɪᴛᴛᴀʀɪᴜs ⁽Nᴏᴠᴇᴍʙᴇʀ 22 ⁻ Dᴇᴄᴇᴍʙᴇʀ 21⁾. My 3 siblings are all those except for Gemini, but the one I'm speaking about is a Scorpio.Now I'm not saying that all Scorpions, Sagittarians and Virgos' are Dark Empaths or Toxic Narcissists, I've seen them with other signs as well, but those signs listed above, have the "planetary power" from birth, to be or not to be. They could be susceptible, influenceable and desperate enough, with a cognitive disorder or just with reaching rock-bottom in their life.
However, if they're stable - in a helping and giving profession - always wanting to help and give to others - able to have a conversation properly with assertiveness and emotional intelligence - able to be trusted - able to take criticism - able to keep away from toxic people - able to be in a stable non-narcissistic relationship or marriage, or strong and loving while single, with financially secure and stable - and trying daily to be a good person - it means they are not a Toxic Narcissist or Dark Empath.
Everyone can show signs of being a good person, but everyone can also show signs of being a toxic narcissist, and those signs above are the ones' that are most susceptible to NPD and the toxicity of it influencing them by others.
I've met beautiful people who were those signs it's just that astrology provides me with not just the beautiful traits of people, but also the not so beautiful, and growing up with those signs I saw the not so beautiful alot.
It's like every sign has their flaws (or red flags), even my sign the Taurus, but I've learned through life, what flaws they are, whether it's the way you see things the way you react, the way you respond, the way you deal with criticism, how inappropriate you can be, the choices you make, and if when and why you lie, etc. If it gets really bad (like too many red flags) and continues without any change, you can have some NPD.
Like if I meet a Taurus, and he's bullheaded (incurable, stubborn, uncompromising, unmanageable) everytime we see each other that would be my red flag and I would go no-contact.
You may also not even believe all this astrology talk, but I relied on my knowledge of it to help me when I was growing up and living downtown. It helped me with what to expect from others so I could be ready if Narcissism was to show its ugly head.
Or when they love, they love wholeheartedly. Or they have empathy for others and like to help people. Or they're smart and talented, or they're spiritual, or they help many people, or everyone thinks they're inspiring and a good person deep down where the heart is.
But deep down where?, because after you find out that deep down is depressingly dark, gloomy and booby-trapped, you'll wonder while you're trapped where their heart is and, "how do I get myself out of this mess." Don't get trapped, just question them about their authenticity and you'll get a reaction that is your warning.
I am a genuine Empath and Lightworker of love and Spirituality, and sure with a large amount of artistic flair. These days as I grow older and see hardly anyone; I am displaying my artistic flair and Lightworking with spiritual awareness at the same time.
Freely sharing myself, my knowledge, my resources, and my sources of inspirations to all who frequently visit when they can. I love sharing and giving to those in need and to those who deserve, because they are those of "humanity."
- Martin L. King said:
"An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.”- Maya Angelou said:
“Be certain that you do not die without having done something wonderful for humanity.”- The Dalai Lama said:
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”- Thurgood Marshall said:
“In recognizing the humanity of our fellow beings, we pay ourselves the highest tribute.”- Hank Green said:
“Humanity is good. Some people are terrible and broken, but humanity is good. I believe that.”- Leo Tolstoy said:
“The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity.”
I never got to serve humanity by sharing like this, and boy does it feel wonderful, especially when we all know that "sharing is caring", but do we know that that could mean caring about yourself as well?
In general; the term "humanity" can mean Integrity, Ethics, Morals, Etiquette, attitude, morality, or sentiment of good-will toward fellow humans; it can also mean the collective existence of all humans and their humanity.
The act of caring and sharing inspires others to do the same, creating a chain reaction that uplifts the collective spirit of humanity, and within yourself.
Uplifting to have more Courage - Awareness - Language and Communication Skill - Creativity - Emotions & Emotional Intelligence - Honesty - Intuition - Kindness - Compassion - Validation - Confidence and love for others.
In Theory "humanity" explains that virtues and vices of a person that can define what is morally right, or wrong. The theory also describes the meaning of living well, for human kind.
Just like in Theory and in Spirituality, and my own words I put together to live by with anything I do, "In perfect Love & Perfect Trust, humanity with what ever I do or say, is a must. For the good of all, while harming none" and shall be done.
Hoping I can help alot of people not only with awareness, healing and peace of mind (people directly and people indirectly), with offering support, motivation, guidance, empathy and love, to you, through writing, posting, my artistic flair, knowledge and my communications online.
With lots of love and light deep down, not darkness and a booby-trap or any of the terrible things I've mentioned about Toxic Narcissists. I've always said, and I will always say, "my heart is on my sleeves" so you don't have to go deep down anywhere to find it.
When people used to say that I should be a teacher, I took it just as a compliment, but now I see I am a teacher. At least a teacher to Peace of mind with a Spiritual Warrior's power against the Toxic Narcissistic Forces that be. I do it all in perfect love and perfect trust, and I do it for others and me.
Ever since I discovered my own heightened sense of intuition, feeling able to sense manipulation or inauthenticity from others, all I've wanted to do is show people what they need to see, and let people know what they need to know about those others.
That alone to me is Lightwork, so I do Lightwork, and I do it without expecting anything in return, I know there are people who genuinely emotionally benefiting with my Lightwork and wishing me well, that's all I could hope for.
My Lightwork in writing and communication, prioritizes spiritual and emotional validation and growth for others and myself, and for development through a positive and uplifting lens; my lense. I've always seen things differently, more spiritual, more intense and realistically, more meaningful and more futuristic.
That means, I have the ability to anticipate (good or bad), or dream about (good or bad), what the future might hold in some way or for some people. When I'm awake I dream about a world where everyone is good, when I'm asleep, I dream about a world where everyone is bad.
My dreams awake, are just futuristic thinking, ruminating and hoping, solving problems, finding problems, and avoiding problems. Great futuristic thinkers are always contemplating what could be, and what could happen when someone does something this way or that way. I've been like that my whole life.
SPEAKING OF DREAMS AND DREAMING. Certain loving and caring Empath's of Lightwork and Guidance - Mystics and Healers - have all sorts of vivid terrible dreams with terrible people- while asleep - that do or do not, have themselves in them. It is just another process that activates our deep empathy and concerns for others.
While unconscious yet on a 'royal road' of 'knowledge activity', which includes concept inventory and mapping - brainstorming - self or peer assessments in the mind, we see other people scattering and running around - other communities suffering and calling for help. As well as other countries with terrible things happening, animals and the planet in danger, etc.
I believe it's because we know so many terrible things that are happening in the world - with people - with communities - with animals and the earth - and we are carrying the weight of those problems throughout the world on our shoulders. Or normally referred to as "Carrying the weight of the world" on our shoulders.
However, it goes way beyond just our shoulders. I can not go to sleep and have a beautiful sleep or a solid one, because when I'm on that royal road while unconscious, I come to a place where I see so many problems, people and places, with things happening I can't control and need to wake up.
When a dream of mine mixes it all, with the problems I think about while I'm awake, well there is no sleep, and I don't get to feel awake either. Even when I fall asleep thinking about beautiful things and beautiful people, or even just my beautiful cats, I'm soon stuck in a dream that's the opposite of beautiful.
Then I wake up to my conscious mind and decide what to do next. My conscious mind may be awake and aware of what's happening, but my unconscious (or subconscious) mind is pulling me (or dragging me) and wanting me to be back asleep (or unconscious) again in bed.
It's a nightly unconscious ritual that I have no control over. However when I have enough sleep in total, and a good day, I never want to go to bed. That's when I do something else that brings me happiness until I'm absolutely run-down worn-out and ready to drop, like being here to write more.
The unconscious mind is the vast sum of operations of the mind that take place below the level of conscious awareness. The conscious mind contains all the thoughts, feelings, cognitions, and memories we acknowledge, while the unconscious mind consists of deeper mental processes not readily available to the conscious mind.
A Narcissist that lies in the day so they lie in the night before going to bed - which is a symptom of a mental illness while having trouble with their conscious mind and no time to think about anything but themselves - will go to sleep and have a beautiful one, or a solid one, and wake up all refreshed like nothing is ever wrong.
Then there are those that wake up and tell you some confabulated scenario they were dreaming about (a lie to start the day), let's say where they are the star of their own show, in their own world, or just having a nice beautiful time.
Or to make you curious they'll tell you they had a dream about you. Or they tell you they slept like a baby and they didn't dream anything. It's like they have no conscience and they just live life unconscious. It's as if they're awake thinking happily about themselves, and their asleep dreaming happily about themselves
Makes one think how it must be nice to be them; with a lack of conscience and empathy, disregard for rules and norms, impulsive and aggressive tendencies, and not caring for anyone but themselves, all common traits of a sociopathic Narcissist.
I have a conscience and empathy, and I take my conscience and empathy, like good people do, to bed with me. To have a conscience is to have the normal feelings that you know and should do what is right and should avoid doing what is wrong, for the good of all while harming none.
Also that makes you feel guilty when you have done something you know is wrong, while thinking of a better outcome or a better fix of a problem, but Toxic Narcissists don't feel guilty or feel like they've done anything wrong. And any problem besides their own, is someone else's responsibility.
When I go to sleep, I wake up after terrible dreams (that are not about me but more about others suffering in the world) every hour or two, and knowing that the world is still a terrible place full of terrible people with much upon much suffering. I suffer over other people's suffering, but when I'm awake, I have control over my suffering at least.
I used to be told that I have the world on my shoulders, not I feel like I do, but I do, carry the world's problems on my shoulders. I used to be told not to let things get to me so deeply, but I do because the world's terrible people get to others while I care about others deeply.
Being a Spiritual loving and caring empathic HSP, I react to people's feelings more deeply than others do, sometimes to the point of sensory overload, and that includes while unconscious trying to sleep.
Being so attuned to the energy around me can turn me into an emotional sponge, whether I'm asleep or awake, which is another reason why I must stay away from Toxic Narcissists while I'm awake, and with what little time I have to enjoy or relax before going to bed again.
When I was an activist online, I needed to help the world with all sorts of different problems and different Causes. I couldn't do enough, and would constantly think of ways to do more.
My sense of conscience would keep me up at night thinking of all the suffering of many human beings with good intentions, moral goodness, and good character intact, while my empathy and spiritual energies ignite my emotions to feel obligated to do right by them, and help those in need.
All I could do by myself was create petitions, sign petitions, write letters, blogs and comments, participate in online campaigns and group chats, and financially help others in an emergency until about 5am, when my beloved would wake up for the day, before I finish up and prepare for bed.
I would share with him everything, read him everything, and let him know anything new that was taking place in the world. It was all very sad and depressing, and many times we'd both cry, with feelings of helplessness, and inability to do enough for the world.
We knew the world needed help but we all know that help is constantly needed in the world for millions of people and things, so there was never a feeling of success or joy from helping. And off I went, to bed with my conscience of never ending sadness for the world.
We want to help the world, but we can't help the whole world, we can only help ourselves to help others - to help others - to help others - and when we help as many people as we can like that, we are helping the world indirectly, while having a positive impact on ourselves and others.
However the total in need for help will never stop growing, and the discovery of who needs it, what needs it, and when or where it's needed is an overwhelming amount. Good thing Empathic people are everywhere doing what they can, and have an overwhelming amount of inner strength, Love, Concern, understanding and Empathy.
Empath's love and care for people, animals, and the earth in which we all live on yes, but that includes from all over the world. We believe everyone is connected, and everything is connectable.
We can also see why problems happen, why so many people are damaging, destructive and destroying people, animals, and the world - and we do it all by sometimes using different analysis techniques, without even being aware that we're doing so.
Call me a teacher, call me a guru, a witch or mystic, an energy worker, healer, or call me an Alien from another planet, I've been called them all, but I am who I am, who I was and who I will be. I'm unlike anyone you or I ever met.
If you talk to a toxic Narcissist about me, they will call me a Narcissist or just fucked up and unable to trust, but remember they're always projecting what they are, onto others. Besides, have you read anything they've written online to help others? Well, is it about Love for others, or Love for yourself?
It doesn't matter what a toxic Narcissist thinks of me, I don't want their toxic opinions, because at this point in my life, with toxic Narcissists unable to abuse me because they're not with me, I'm successfully healing and able to help others much more effectively. You too will help others much more effectively without them around you.
I've made boundaries and rules before anyone can see me, because everyone I've known in my life other than my Mom, my Dad and my Beloved, had disappointed me over and over, while mentally and emotionally abusing me, beyond belief.
I'm maintaining no-contact as best as can be, until the times I have no choice, so I stay by myself. No family, no friends and that way no one can drain me and exhaust me while using me up. Only people who appreciate me and that are not fake to me, will be welcomed at my home.
As an unhealed Empath, I'm much better now, and I have all I need to regenerate for myself, and for others who deserve what I have, to give. I'm spiritually aware, holding genuine love for others; emotionally intelligent, mindfully present and grateful at all times for others who deserve what I have to give, in perfect love and perfect trust.
Others who show me they appreciate me and are not fake, thus deserving my attention, will bring me enough joy and fulfillment to heal further and recover, and it doesn't matter how long I spend with them, each one will contribute in part to my total wellness. Whether it be in a visit or any communication.
Communication is the key that opens the door to wellness and action, while Genuine Love that encompasses all one needs is the answer. Or you can look at it this way if you're empathic; when you communicate with genuine love, you open the door to wellness and action for others, while you encompass all you need.
I've never hurt others on purpose for all that I need, I've never sounded rudely dismissive for all that I need, I've never played a hurtful prank, or projected onto others while lying for all that I need.
I've never not cared for other good people, just to focus on myself for all that I need. And, I've never accused someone of something so terrible it genuinely hurt their feelings because it wasn't true, for all that I need.
Thus; I've deserved all I need and received all I need, through genuine love and communication, and I consider it all, a blessing. Thus I am able to give to others freely through genuine love and communication, so that they, can encompass all they need.
Thank you for reading, it's great to see that you made time to do so, I love you and remember if you're suffering from being with a narcissist, you are not alone, so reach out.
If you find that you need to chat or meet me for some spiritual or empathic guidance, please let me know and I'll respond with all my love I have to give. Not with calling you a client, but with being your friend. Not with charging you a fee, but giving you myself for free, I'm here till the end, your friend Ari.
💖Tʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴏʀ sʜᴀʀɪɴɢ, ᴄᴀʀɪɴɢ, ɪɴsᴘɪʀɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴠɪsɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴍʏ Bʟᴏɢsᴘᴏᴛ💖
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