It's nuts, 🥜🥜🥜it's everywhere.

As a HSP of Empathic Value, those who are not socially aware of social etiquette and communication, body language, kindness and acceptance (to say the least without sounding like a narcissist), yet have a job meeting customers, give my heart a hard time in life. 

They're meeting a customer at their house at their door (Me with my delivery); and this customer is loving and giving, and wanting to give them some joy for 1 minute by tipping them in the way of a drink and a snack at the door, but they turn into a border wall of "OMG NO IT'S TOO MUCH", they ruin my day.

However, I WILL NEVER EXPECT RECIPROCAL KINDNESS FROM ANYONE. I appreciate their hard word while having hard working conditions, so I DON'T let them know how rude they're being, cause I know they don't want to impose. 

But imposing is done by you, not me, I'm giving, you must accept my giving when you see it's beautiful. If not, you hurt me while I try to be kind AS I WAS FEELING DOWN AND OUT TO BEGIN WITH, and then I turn fake right In front of you.

People who express or show aspects of their narcissism to me, make me fake. I am protecting my poor emotional vulnerable self while trying to still heal, I'M NOT Fake, not to one person or more than one, I've never been and never will be.

It's what you do when you have a career or job, you must be fake, it's sickening. The pretending, the toxic positivity, the kissing of asses, the fake smiling, the omission of truth and facts, the "keeping it professional", THE APATHY, the secrets i'll never hear about, and the exclusion of anyone like me. iT'S ALL SICKENING TO ME.

I'm not fake, but I play it very well, to hide my anger, my disgust, my words of wisdom gone unappreciated and over their heads, and my emotional fragility. I'm not fake, they are, pretending to like me, pretending to care about me, pretending there's nothing to worry about,, with anything, not to mention their own intentions with me.  

I just need to stay away from people like that, but ya can't.. It's nuts, 🥜🥜🥜it's everywhere. You can't because they deliver your food, or your products, or they're workmen, handymen, business men, employees, or worse biological family members. And you have to be like them, for them to be liking you. Thank god I'm not like any of them.

omg I can't handle it anymore.